He's the best thing in the whole world/ I love his expressive face- he does this wide open mouth agog look, so many times in a day. So many times- life surprises and amazes him to the point of sheer awe!
What fun to be around that energy and that much fascination.
I cherish everyday i spend with him, I miss him when I'm at work but Love to see him open the door on my return and say 'come on in mommy- dinosaur puzzle!'
I hope he always wants a cuddle- my eyes fill and sting at the thought that one day my 'baby' won't put his arms up and whine for me- just because he wants me, to hold him, hug him. Offer him my cheek to his. Tickle, kiss. As hard as it is to be in demand- I do wonder how flat life would be without that.
What becomes of us mums that break our hearts and surrender all our love and hopes- everything for our babies- what happens when they grow? Hopefully we adjust, I guess we do, I'm sure my mum loved me this hard and then as time passed, became accustomed to the pull from her apron, letting out the strings little by little until I was pretty much free. She Still loves me, but from a distance, watching and advising and being there when I need her.
I know all this, but it makes me so sad to think of now. I guess it's ok , I want him to be normal (well individual of course) well adjusted, happy, normal-ish- again! Not attached to his mum like a weirdo in a failure to launch kinda way!
On a trip to London for work, thinking of my boys at home as I speed down the tracks- facing backwards, wow! It's a weird thing- how much you are capable of loving.
ill stop thinking of it now as its breaking my heart, plenty of time for childhood yet xx
